Fashion Fades; Style is Eternal


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

7 Reasons Why I'm Starting My New Year In Savasana.

Year after year I have rung in the New Year freezing cold, in too tight of an Herve Leger dress, teetering on brand new sequin shoes that I would never wear again for the sole reason that they were so painful they made all of my toes go numb, and lightheaded from overpriced champagne running through my veins that a 'nurturing' boyfriend of the hot second would provide for me so that I didn't have a total effing b*tch fit.

What a way to welcome in the New Year - not.

New Years Eve was always amateur hour that I got dragged out to participate in, but it subsequently ended up dragging along bad vibes into my New Year as well. No thanks.

That is why this year I am down doggin' my way into the New Year.

Here's 7 Reasons Why I'm Starting My New Year In Savasana:

1. Sweet, sweet savasana. Foremost, let's define savasana and what will fundamentally be going down. Basically, starting the New Year off in savasana means that I will be posing like a corpse, flat on my back, allowing my body a chance to regroup and reset itself, rejuvenating body, mind, and spirit. This is somewhat of an enlightened nap time, so to speak. What better way to start a new beginning than with a conscious, peaceful mind and a balanced body?

2. It's a requirement to be barefoot. That's right. I am yogi-policy required to kick off my tacky "but, they're so NYE appropriate...Daffodile Strass Louboutins for the utter bliss of a barenaked foot times two. 

Sidenote: I swear, those shoes were close to ending my last relationship a New Years Eve ago. They're so painful that I just about stomped a bloody massacre inside of the restaurant when I had to slip my shoes back on (extra credit reading: Linen Tablecloths; A Girl's Best Kept Secret.) to stand up for the champagne toast, which would have obviously all been my (now ex) boyfriend's fault. Naturally.

3. I get to wear spandex. And not the type of constricting Herve Leger spandex that has just about as much stretch as a piece of duct tape mummify-ably wrapped around your body in a contortionist form. Yoga-ing my way into New Year wearing the stretchiest of spandex actually allows me to have carbs weeks prior without punishment of a popping seam. Sugar cookie me.

4. I don't have to worry about Sloppy Sally's getting all up in my space. At my yoga studio we have respectful marks in the room for guiding mat placement and in return, receiving the most use out of the space. Upon entering the room, all you have to do is find an open slot, throw down your mat (I mean, quietly place...), and pop a squat. This is now your personal real estate for the entirety of the class. I highly recommend that nightclubs invest in this concept. Even the most secure of bottle service doesn't keep the basic betches from wandering through.

5. Actually, I don't have to worry about Sloppy Sally's period. Unless you're drunk off kombucha, which come on Lindsay Lohan, pull it together, it's like 0.5 percent alcohol tops if you're lucky, you most likely will not be coming into a hot power flow class white-girl wasted. 

6. I will be hangover free. Since I won't be in velociraptor-style heels, picking fights with my boring boyfriend, and dodging Sloppy Sally's wanting to festively cheers their vodka cran to my cocktail dress, I will have absolutely no use for hate drinking the night away. Peace out Dom-induced destructive hangover, you're so last year.

7. I will be able to start the New Year with the best of intentions, among beautiful souls, in the best of space (both physically and mindfully), with only positive treasures - not attachments a.k.a. stage 5 clingers -   that I choose to carry with me into the New Year.


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