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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

How to Drink and Fly Responsibly.

Fact: People drink on airplanes.
Motive(s)? Fear of flying, boredom, addiction, whatever.

Fact: Not all people who drink on planes, drink gracefully.
Example(s)? Xanax, drinking games, alcoholism, etc.

Even if you're a frequent traveler or a frequent drinker, everything is a little bit different thousands of feet up in the air. You have a lot more factors to figure into the equation if you decide to hold a flute and fly. For example, the side effects of using sleeping pills during your 14-hour flight weigh into account and perhaps, so does the consumption of cheap alcohol...don't think for even a second that the full minibar in first class is that of the Four Seasons.

How to drink and fly responsibly:

1. Don't be cheap. What you don't pay for up front, you'll pay for later. Think quality vs. quantity. It's a much wiser idea to buy one Kettle One on the rocks than to buy four Smirnoff Ice. Avoid looking like you're playing Jenga with the empty bottles.

2. Pop an aspirin. The altitude alone is enough to give anyone a headache, and an added drink in the mix will make it worse. Substitute one of those olives in your dirty martini for an Aleve before your temples start to throb.

3. Speaking of temples... Avoid ordering drinks with a lot of sugar in them like Dirty Shirley's or anything with Red Bull (even if it's "sugar free"). You will be bouncing off the walls of the cabin, not a good look on a posh International flight.

4. Drink your drink. Don't shift it around, don't blow bubbles in it, just throw it back. There's nothing I hate more than someone swishing around a Jack 'n Coke while I'm trying to finish my soy latte and read the latest Vogue I saved for an entire week to read on the plane. And no, please do not buy me a shot.

5. Speaking of pick-up lines... Save 'em for baggage claim or the taxi line. At least where there is an escape route available other than on an inflatable slide out the side of the craft.

(unless you're Alexander Skarsgard)

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