Fashion Fades; Style is Eternal


Thursday, October 17, 2013

Defending Yourself Against The Douchebag...Fashionably.

So, you're kinda sorta into a douchebag. He sucks. He has attitude, he acts like he doesn't give a sh*t, he feels totally entitled...and you think it's hot. Long hair, band boy, brilliant minded, motorcycle riding, tattoo grinding, 007 martini drinking, hot as hell, douchebag of one or multiple offenses. Been there, done that, doing it. I get it, girl.

I'm here to tell you a secret, so listen up...

You only stand a chance if you are a badder bitch than him.

That's right. Keep your pride, don't waste your breath, and dress the part. You've got to defend yourself against the douchebag. I can't teach you words, but I can definitely teach your wardrobe the part.

It's all a matter of's how...

1. Get yourself some knuckle armor. I suggest Alexander McQueen form...whether it's a four banded knuckle ring solo or attached to your clutch. Make that fist feisty. 

2. A little sideboob never hurt anybody. It's the ultimate "you can look but you can't touch." Make it work with a graphic cutout couture tee (Céline or Chanel, recommended) or simple bold stripes (like those shown on Rosie)'s only trashy if you're wearing cheap sh*t.

3. Lips that sting. Get aggressive with your pout. Don't waste it on just anyone. You can pull off the above á la Lana del Rey with a little Tom Ford matte lipstick. At just under $50 a stick, I promise you won't be willing to waste an application on just anybody undeservingly.

4. Spike the sh*t out of your stilettos. I'm a huge fan of the above pair of crystalized spiked Louboutin hot are they. Save a nice peep-toe for the preppy boy you let take you out on lunch dates...these spiked booties are beyond appropriate for strengthening your stance.

5. No need to try too hard. No douchebag is deserving of any extra A for effort you may want to contribute. I'm a huge fan of the above distressed denim with leather thigh accents and a couple simple studs...where you can find these, I have no idea. For all I know, they may be Forever 21...but they rock (my guess is AG denim).

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