Fashion Fades; Style is Eternal

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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

7 Reasons Why I'm Starting My New Year In Savasana.


Year after year I have rung in the New Year freezing cold, in too tight of an Herve Leger dress, teetering on brand new sequin shoes that I would never wear again for the sole reason that they were so painful they made all of my toes go numb, and lightheaded from overpriced champagne running through my veins that a 'nurturing' boyfriend of the hot second would provide for me so that I didn't have a total effing b*tch fit.


What a way to welcome in the New Year - not.

New Years Eve was always amateur hour that I got dragged out to participate in, but it subsequently ended up dragging along bad vibes into my New Year as well. No thanks.

That is why this year I am down doggin' my way into the New Year.

Here's 7 Reasons Why I'm Starting My New Year In Savasana:


1. Sweet, sweet savasana. Foremost, let's define savasana and what will fundamentally be going down. Basically, starting the New Year off in savasana means that I will be posing like a corpse, flat on my back, allowing my body a chance to regroup and reset itself, rejuvenating body, mind, and spirit. This is somewhat of an enlightened nap time, so to speak. What better way to start a new beginning than with a conscious, peaceful mind and a balanced body?


2. It's a requirement to be barefoot. That's right. I am yogi-policy required to kick off my tacky "but, they're so NYE appropriate...Daffodile Strass Louboutins for the utter bliss of a barenaked foot times two. 

Sidenote: I swear, those shoes were close to ending my last relationship a New Years Eve ago. They're so painful that I just about stomped a bloody massacre inside of the restaurant when I had to slip my shoes back on (extra credit reading: Linen Tablecloths; A Girl's Best Kept Secret.) to stand up for the champagne toast, which would have obviously all been my (now ex) boyfriend's fault. Naturally.


3. I get to wear spandex. And not the type of constricting Herve Leger spandex that has just about as much stretch as a piece of duct tape mummify-ably wrapped around your body in a contortionist form. Yoga-ing my way into New Year wearing the stretchiest of spandex actually allows me to have carbs weeks prior without punishment of a popping seam. Sugar cookie me.


4. I don't have to worry about Sloppy Sally's getting all up in my space. At my yoga studio we have respectful marks in the room for guiding mat placement and in return, receiving the most use out of the space. Upon entering the room, all you have to do is find an open slot, throw down your mat (I mean, quietly place...), and pop a squat. This is now your personal real estate for the entirety of the class. I highly recommend that nightclubs invest in this concept. Even the most secure of bottle service doesn't keep the basic betches from wandering through.


5. Actually, I don't have to worry about Sloppy Sally's period. Unless you're drunk off kombucha, which come on Lindsay Lohan, pull it together, it's like 0.5 percent alcohol tops if you're lucky, you most likely will not be coming into a hot power flow class white-girl wasted. 


6. I will be hangover free. Since I won't be in velociraptor-style heels, picking fights with my boring boyfriend, and dodging Sloppy Sally's wanting to festively cheers their vodka cran to my cocktail dress, I will have absolutely no use for hate drinking the night away. Peace out Dom-induced destructive hangover, you're so last year.


7. I will be able to start the New Year with the best of intentions, among beautiful souls, in the best of space (both physically and mindfully), with only positive treasures - not attachments a.k.a. stage 5 clingers -   that I choose to carry with me into the New Year.

Namaste.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Cheers-ing With Malahat Spirits Co.


'Tis the season to get boozy and deck the bars with rum!

There is seriously nothing I love more than a tasty handcrafted rum, and in particular, a handcrafted San Diego rum. And dear reader, when I say a handcrafted San Diego rum, what I really mean is three rugged San Diego men working on my booze with their hands. I know, super hot. 

Let me introduce to you Malahat Spirits Co., who behind it are three crafty friends that sought out extraordinary ingredients, combined with traditional techniques (they're literally chopping up ginger and crushing vanilla beans by hand) and a flare of innovative experimentation, to create handcrafted spirits, made in small batches, entirely from scratch.

"We are proud of every drop and
will only produce what we love to drink ourselves."


Not only are the guys who founded Malahat Spirits Co. ridiculously cool, but the history behind the company's name and vision is also really interesting. The Malahat was actually a five masted schooner that sailed down the West Coast during Prohibition, carrying over 60,000 cases of spirits at times and delivering more contraband liquor than any other ship in the Pacific. This boat was a bossy little betch. She would anchor off the coast of Southern California and deliver her spirits to rum runners who would take the precious cargo to awaiting patrons onshore. Badass, right? 

To make a fascinating story remarkably short, if you drank your liquor in San Diego during Prohibition, chances are your booze came from the Malahat, also known as The Queen of Rum Row.


But most importantly, check out what Malahat Spirits Co. is bringing ashore right now...



Spiced Rum

Personally, I'm known to spike the cider during the holidays (come on, someone's got to do it!) and there is no better rum to do the job than Malahat's. Slip a little bit of spiced spirit into the Dutch Oven and watch that bad betch brew, it's delicious. While you wait, enjoy a nice crystal tumbler of the Ginger Rum to cleanse your palette.

If you want to liven up the night even more, why don't you invite dear Jean Harlow to the party.

How to resurrect Jean Harlow in her best form in under 1 minute:

Ingredients:

2 ounces rum
2 ounces sweet vermouth
Lemon peel for garnish

Directions:

Pour the rum and vermouth into a cocktail shaker with ice cubes, shake that bad boy something feisty, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and garnish with the lemon peel.

Cheers!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Coconut Chai Oats; Goldilocks Approved.

Coconut Chai Oats

After Instagramming this beast of a bowl, I got a lot of inquiries regarding the contents of it, just about as many people as were concerned about my sockage going on.

Note: The ankle poms.

The best way that I can describe this bowl, is to tell you to close your eyes and imagine what it would taste like if a White Girl's chai tea latte and Goldilocks's bowl of "just right" porridge had a baby with killer superfood chromosomes and flavor to rock off even the most basic of betches' taste buds.

Oh yeah, and the calorie count doesn't suck either.

Here's what to throw into the pot...

Coconut Chai Oats

Ingredients:

1/4 cup uncooked steel cut oats
1 cup water
1/4 cup unsweetened coconut milk
1 tablespoon chia seeds
1/8 cup dried unsweetened coconut shavings (plus a sprinkle on top if you're instagramming)
1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon of each: cardamon, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ground ginger
1/2 tablespoon pure maple syrup

Directions:

1. Dump the water and the oats into a pot and cook until about halfway done.

2. Add in the chia seeds, coconut shavings, and spices. Stir it up.

3. Once everything is coming together nicely and is beginning to look just about edible, add in the 1/4 cup unsweetened coconut milk.

4. Keep stirring the oats on the stove until all the extra liquid is absorbed and your oats look done.

Sidenote: If weird sh*t is floating and not sticking together, your oats are not done. Be patient, young grasshopper, sometimes steel cut oats are stubborn little beasts and need their time.

5. Scoop the contents of the pot into a bowl, top with a sprinkle of extra unsweetened coconut shavings and a drizzle of pure male syrup.

Servings:

Just enough for Goldilocks.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

How To Pull Off Sequined Pants.


Sequins are rad; if you're up for a challenge, that is.

For some reason (actually, lots of reasons), sequins pose as a serious fashion risk with a 99% chance of you looking like a hot mess. And not in a sexy way.

I don't think I need to go into detail regarding the catastrophic 99 percentile. We all know a cringe-worthy look when we see one. Instead, allow me to be straight up.

Here's how to pull off sequined pants without looking like you raped a disco ball:



1. If you're going to be bold, and my dear, sequins are bold, you might as well go balls to the effing walls and say goodbye to traditional. Trousers are swell, but if you really want to get jaws dropping you should make them drop down low for a drop crotch. The pair above by Givenchy not only has a killer Harlem attitude, but it also uses a multitude of sequin hues allowing you to A. wear this (expensive) pair of sequined pants with multiple pieces you should already have in your closet - black tank, white distressed tee, tuxedo blazer, etc. - and B. not be a basic betch.


2. If you're gonna be a basic betch, your best option is to go with basic black. I actually really love this pair of sequined black trousers by Donna Karan, even if morally I'm obliged to disclose that I think that Donna is a total Debbie Downer, but whatev. This pair is ridiculously flattering and is so basic that if you show up to a party and sequins are just not vibing, these pants basically scream, "Sequins? Psh, as if I'd be daring enough to wear sequins. Ease up on the champs, Marge."


3. Sidenote: If you're going with basic black, try a really cool high-waisted version like the above by Jason Wu. Not everything looks better high-waisted, but sequins typically do. 


4. If you show up to a party where sequins are just not vibing, the best possible thing to do is rebel, naturally. This manrepelling pair of Jean Paul Gaultier does just that. This pair is so effing ugly, but it's wearability is out the roof. I totally see this with a high-neck button up, a weird graphic cut-out tank, or a sports jersey jacket that isn't actually sports-affiliated. I wouldn't spend 4k on a pair, but if I happened to come across one at a consignment store that hadn't been hemmed (because that sh*t would be up to my knees and no one likes capris), I would snag it for sure.


5. If you're a bargain hunter and don't want to spend a handbag's worth of savings on a pair of outdated stylized pants that you'll only wear once and have a 99% chance of being a disaster, I highly recommend going with a pair by Alice + Olivia. They're trendy, the cut is always really chic, there are tons of cute sequined options that really aren't that tacky, and they always go on sale at Neimans or Saks for at least half the price. Score.

P.S. Don't wear a pair of slightly pointy-toed heels with sequined pants like the model is doing above. This looks stupid. Wear an ultra high basic pump in black or go with something strappy. Absolutely no boots, even if they're booties, and don't you dare wear flats. If you don't want a heel, break out a pair of cool kicks (i.e. something like these YSL sneakers). 

Because, who cares? You're wearing sequined pants for God's sake.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

My Favorite Things; Holiday Candles.

You know that song "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music?

If I were to make up my own version of the song, I'd definitely swap out "whiskers on kittens" for "man buns on hipsters" and change up "silver white winters that melt into springs" with something more like "sexy vacations that base a good tan" - but that's just me.

Crisp apple streudels and schnitzel with noodles can stay on the menu for sure, but I'd throw in some homemade baklava too, for the sake of us all carb-loading.

Oh and you know what else would definitely make the chorus? Holiday candles.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad (and my resting bitch face is starting to cramp), I simply start burning my favorite scents, and then I start to feel pretty badass.

Holiday candles literally make this time of the year for me, I simply can't get enough. This festive madness overloading the senses starts around October when pumpkin spice and everything nice begins to not-so-gracefully stock a white girl's shelves. Le basic. But, oh, it smells so good. I love the festive change up from my trusty Tom's burning year-round (Tom Dixon Element CandleTom Ford Tuscan Leather Candle) and Crisp Champagne bubbling on the hour by Voluspa.

What I personally like? The ooey and gooey-er the better. Caramel, brown sugar, bourbon flavored anything. Pumpkin is cool, and so is anything that gives reference to holing up in a cabin in the woods with a TD&H (tall, dark, & handsome) man decked out in red flannel with the smell of pinecones and freshly roasted s'mores wafting through the air. Oh, and don't forget a hint of hot cocoa flirting with peppermint bark. I'm all about that peppermint, and sleigh bell sugar cookie, and gingerbread whipped cream Irish coffee with a candy cane twist. The names start to get disgustingly glutenous as the season wears on.

Anyway, so happy we're talking holiday candles and not holiday calories.

Unless you plan on ingesting these, which I highly do not recommend that you do, you can indulge calorie free all season long.

Here are a few of my favorite indulgences...









Oh, and this one isn't "holiday flavored," but I think it's really cool and since I won't be blogging about candles for say, at least a good month or few, let me share before I forget to care:


Basically, you burn that betch down and it reveals your fortune! 

Only at Urban Outfitters, naturally.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

S'mores Lasagna Up In 'Da Kitch.


Some mornings I wake up, mediate in my fuzzy socks for all things love and beautiful goodness for the world, slide over to the kitchen Risky Business style for a giant cup of black coffee, and make my way back to my desk (I now work from home which is seriously like Christmas morning every morning), and indulgently pin some weird sh*t to warm my fingertips up.

This morning I came across the coolest thing I had seen in a long, long time.

S'mores Lasagna. Kid. You. Not.

This badass little blogger, beyond frosting is seriously the most innovative one I've seen in the kitch. I'm so obsessed with her blog and especially her recipe for S'mores Lasagna. I mean, how did she come up with that? Brilliant. Just brilliant. And by the way, if you love ooey gooey campfire in a dish (if you don't, you have problems), beyond frosting has tons of other recipes like S'mores Rice Krispie TreatsBourbon Toasted S'mores Milkshake, and S'mores Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream.

I know, this betch's kitchen is seriously on fire.

Here's how to toast up her famous lasagna...



Ingredients

1 pkg instant chocolate pudding (3.4 oz)
1 3/4 cup milk
1 container cool whip (8 oz)
1 jar marshmallow crème fluff (7 oz)
1 cup mini marshmallows - toasted, duh
2 pkg chocolate graham crackers
1 pkg graham crackers
2 cups heavy whipping cream
2-3 tbsp powdered sugar
2 tbsp sweetened cocoa powder
24 large marshmallows
hot fudge sauce for drizzle

Instructions

1. Start by mixing the instant chocolate pudding with milk. Whisk until pudding mix is dissolved. Refrigerate until firm; about 10 minutes.

2. In a mixing bowl, combine the cool whip and marshmallow crème. Beat until smooth.

3. Using a heat proof bowl, microwave mini marshmallows for 10 seconds. Use a kitchen torch with a low flame to gently toast the marshmallow. Beat into cool whip and marshmallow crème mixture.

4. Line a 9x13” pan with tin foil or parchment paper. Lay down a layer of chocolate graham crackers on the bottom of the pan. Try and cover all edges evenly. Do not break apart the larger pieces until you need to fill in the cracks.

5. Take 1/3 of your marshmallow cool whip and gently spread over the bottom layer of graham crackers.

6. Next spread half of the pudding mix onto the top of the marshmallow cool whip.

7. Make the next layer using regular graham crackers. Try and cover all edges evenly. Do not break apart the larger pieces until you need to fill in the cracks.

8. Take another 1/3 of your marshmallow cool whip and gently spread over this layer of graham crackers followed by the remaining pudding.

9. Make the next layer using chocolate graham crackers. Try and cover all edges evenly. Do not break apart the larger pieces until you need to fill in the cracks.

10. Use the remaining marshmallow crème mixture to gently spread over the top of the chocolate graham crackers.

11. Make the chocolate whipped cream by using a stand mixer. Beat the cream on med-high for a few minutes until bubbly. Add 2 tablespoons of powdered sugar and 2 tablespoons of sweetened cocoa powder. Beat until stiff peaks form. If the whipped cream is too bitter, add an additional tablespoon of powdered sugar.

12. Refrigerate for 2-4 hours to allow each layer to set.

13. You can top the lasagna with a layer of toasted marshmallows if you desire. Use a piece of parchment paper or microwave-safe plate. Microwave in groups of 10 for 10-15 seconds until soft. Move them with a knife onto the top of the lasagna. Use a kitchen torch on low flame to gently toast the marshmallows.

14. Drizzle with hot fudge and leftover graham crackers crumbs.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Chic Accoppiato for the Socialite; ZuZu Kim.


Getting dressed up to go out can sometimes be the most annoying chore if nothing in your closet is inspiring you. New pieces, old pieces, same sh*t. If the inspiration is dead, even your spiked Louboutin high-tops look like effing old news. Le sigh.

My friends and I will seriously pick themes for our nights out just so we have something to get excited about and channel new inspiration. For instance, we've done Met Ball Circa 2013 (Punk: Chaos to Couture), one of our favorites, Arabian Nights, you know I love an amazing turban and definitely don't require a theme to wear one, Blue, we literally went to the MAC make-up counter and chose a facial feature to dedicate entirely to the color blue. My incredibly artistic friend knows no limits and literally went full blue mouth, it was totally boundary pushing. She even wanted to do her eyebrows, but we're saving that for our Highlighted Eyebrow theme...just kidding, kind of

Anyway, if you're like me and get down with a theme for a night out, I've got an amazing new addition to your rolodex of exhibitions; Chic Accoppiato.

What's Chic Accoppiato you ask? Oh dear reader, we're about to get specific. 

Side note, I was so excited for a minute, I almost just typed an exclamation point after that, and I do not work exclamation points into my language. 

But, exclamation point this, if you must: 

ZuZu Kim Chic Accoppiato for the Socialite to be exact. A-F-ing-MEN.

If you haven't heard of ZuZu Kim, ZuZu Kim is a ready-to-wear, contemporary line founded by the unconventionally and artistically creative, Christina Kim. Her collection is luxuriously strong with an emphasis in chic. I was thrilled to discover her recent addition to the brand, "Accoppiato," a collection of strikingly exquisite, unisex bow ties. 


Christina describes the mood of her neckwear as "exciting, luxurious, unexpected, elegant, chic, and appeals to consumers of all ages from uptown to downtown." And this balanced and fresh new look, naturally New York City produced, dear readers, is a mood I severely dig.

Each bow tie is almost entirely handmade and put together using the finest European fabrics and trims, and of course unexpected elements which Christina believes "offsets the energy and convention of design." Yes, please.

So much passion is cultivated in the Accoppiato collection, it's invigorating and a privilege to wear.

Check it...



*5% of entire online sales are donated to the VH1 Save The Music Foundation, a non-profit foundation supporting music education, enriching and inspiring the passion of public school children with the donation of new musical instruments.


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