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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

So, You're Dating A Picky Vegan.


So, you're dating a picky vegan. Good luck with that.

Just kidding. That's hot. She probably has really great skin and lots of energy. She also probably goes to yoga a lot...which means she's really flexible.

Maybe you're a carnivore or perhaps you're on the "see-food" diet, point being, you probably wonder what you're getting yourself into. Don't sweat it. I've come up with 10 questions/statements that I've been asked from men that have taken me out and maybe, just maybe, you've probably been wondering yourself.

Here's what you need to know:

1. Can I eat meat in front of you? Ya homie, just don't kiss me with your mouth full.

2. So, can you eat cheese? No.

3. Do you miss it? Does a bear sh*t in the woods?

4. Would you care if I ate cheese? Go for it.

5. Are you going to make me start drinking kale juice for breakfast? No honey, but I am really crafty with the Vitamix. I've already made you drink kale juice in the morning and you didn't even know it. Smile.

6. Babe, you need your protein. Babe, I get 13 grams of protein for every serving of spinach. Haven't you ever seen Popeye?

7. Do you seriously get a B-12 shot in the butt cheek? Yes, every two weeks.

8. Can I watch? No.

9. You just ate three pints of ice cream last week, you're not vegan. Two, and it was made with coconut milk, vegan substitutes are sneaky.

10. Is there anywhere we can go to eat where I can get a burger and you can get your hippie grains? Yes, darling.

Here's where you need to go:


1. True Food Kitchen - An amazing assortment of meat, vegetarian, vegan, and raw options, craft cocktails and freshly made juices. Babe can get his bison burger and you can opt for the TLT - aka, a vegan version of the "BLT" stacked with tempeh bacon, lettuce, tomato, and avocado.


2. Ranchos Cocina, North Park - Finally a mexican restaurant that specializes in organic and plant-based options. The cheese enchiladas are so good here, you don't even notice they're vegan and there are plenty of really amazing low-fat protein packed entrees for the paleo carnivore.


3. Tender Greens - Talk about versatility...this quick-stop restaurant is perfect for a fast meal or to-go. I'm personally a fan of the "Happy Vegan" salad and the hibiscus iced tea, but beware...the Happy Vegan salad is super high in calories, FYI. Tons of carve up plates are offered for the meat eaters...as well as some really delicious sides.


4. Underbelly - The best place to get a yummy bowl of ramen, a glass of wine (or beer), and a spicy hot order of shishito peppers. The "spicy kimchi" vegan ramen bowl is my favorite, and my datées have been known to order the "belly of the beast" - aggressive.


5. Azuki Sushi - Only the greatest place in San Diego to get actually edible vegan sushi that isn't just rice, seaweed, and cucumber. Not only does Azuki craft excellent vegan sushi, but it's regular sushi is just about mind blowing. Caviar to top.

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