Fashion Fades; Style is Eternal

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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

How to Find a Husband in Italy.

"Love in Portofino" - Dalida

Every single American girl goes to Italy to find il suo amore "her love." I'm not such a cliché...I'm going for multiple reasons: carbs, wine, gelato, shoes, art, adventure, some more shoes, etc. 


If I happen to stumble upon a charismatic tall, dark, and handsome Italian man with optimal facial scruff in a black leather jacket riding around in a Vespa...scratch that, driving around in a Bugatti...that I can't simply go back to living my life without...so what if I offer him a Green Card?

I know what I'm walking into. 

Free Green Cards for every TD&H! J/k...although I'd totally be down.


Anyway. Finding an Italian husband is difficult work, I'm sure, otherwise we'd all be doing it...like yesterday. So, while I've been conducting my general research for the trip, I've also been conducting a little research on this project of mine to be executed while I'm there.


Here's what I've come up with...

1. Go to Italy with the right person. I'm going with a wise and sexy Venezuelan who has already snagged an Italian husband of her own and is fluent in the language...of Italy and of Italian love. Learn from the best. Don't go to Italy looking for an Italian husband if you're with a boyfriend, fiancé, husband, or other miscellaneously categorized lover that you'll be sucking face with on a gondola. 

2. Don't stay in one place. It is crucial to explore all of the areas so that you become familiar with the territory. This is a hunt. How are you supposed to magically bump into your small town soul mate strolling through the farmer's market if you're searching for the bruting artist admiring the Sistine Chapel day after day? Keep your options open and have adventures of your own. Your soul mate will find you. They always do.

3. Wear fabulous shoes. Lattanzi, Gravati, Martegani, Borgioli, Testoni. Italian men rule in footwear. It's a fact. There is no better shoe out there than that made by an Italian. Be sure to pack all of your fabulous Italian leather and leave no lone Prada stranded at home. In order to catch the eye of the Brioni, Zegna, and Canali wanderers, you must step with your best Italian foot forward.

4. Keep your eyes open for the mothers. Like the Italian men stereotype stands with their good taste in shoes, they also suffer from The Mammoni Phenomenon. Mamma's boys from cradle to grave. If you see a dear woman taking sacks to be laundered, it's probably her son's. Offer to help her carry one, or at least don't slam the door on her, she may be your future Mother in Law. 

5. Try everything once, and the good things twice. Always. You are in an entirely new place, you must experience it to the fullest. How else will you know what you like? This goes for food, for men, and always for dessert.

I will sure to update you when I return. Baci. Xo.

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