Fashion Fades; Style is Eternal

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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

How to Find a Husband in Italy.

"Love in Portofino" - Dalida

Every single American girl goes to Italy to find il suo amore "her love." I'm not such a cliché...I'm going for multiple reasons: carbs, wine, gelato, shoes, art, adventure, some more shoes, etc. 


If I happen to stumble upon a charismatic tall, dark, and handsome Italian man with optimal facial scruff in a black leather jacket riding around in a Vespa...scratch that, driving around in a Bugatti...that I can't simply go back to living my life without...so what if I offer him a Green Card?

I know what I'm walking into. 

Free Green Cards for every TD&H! J/k...although I'd totally be down.


Anyway. Finding an Italian husband is difficult work, I'm sure, otherwise we'd all be doing it...like yesterday. So, while I've been conducting my general research for the trip, I've also been conducting a little research on this project of mine to be executed while I'm there.


Here's what I've come up with...

1. Go to Italy with the right person. I'm going with a wise and sexy Venezuelan who has already snagged an Italian husband of her own and is fluent in the language...of Italy and of Italian love. Learn from the best. Don't go to Italy looking for an Italian husband if you're with a boyfriend, fiancé, husband, or other miscellaneously categorized lover that you'll be sucking face with on a gondola. 

2. Don't stay in one place. It is crucial to explore all of the areas so that you become familiar with the territory. This is a hunt. How are you supposed to magically bump into your small town soul mate strolling through the farmer's market if you're searching for the bruting artist admiring the Sistine Chapel day after day? Keep your options open and have adventures of your own. Your soul mate will find you. They always do.

3. Wear fabulous shoes. Lattanzi, Gravati, Martegani, Borgioli, Testoni. Italian men rule in footwear. It's a fact. There is no better shoe out there than that made by an Italian. Be sure to pack all of your fabulous Italian leather and leave no lone Prada stranded at home. In order to catch the eye of the Brioni, Zegna, and Canali wanderers, you must step with your best Italian foot forward.

4. Keep your eyes open for the mothers. Like the Italian men stereotype stands with their good taste in shoes, they also suffer from The Mammoni Phenomenon. Mamma's boys from cradle to grave. If you see a dear woman taking sacks to be laundered, it's probably her son's. Offer to help her carry one, or at least don't slam the door on her, she may be your future Mother in Law. 

5. Try everything once, and the good things twice. Always. You are in an entirely new place, you must experience it to the fullest. How else will you know what you like? This goes for food, for men, and always for dessert.

I will sure to update you when I return. Baci. Xo.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Admiring you, my Admirer.


I wasn't going to post anything on LisaPriceInc. today because I'm way too overwhelmed this week getting ready for Italy to have a creative conversation about couture or to make fun of my catastrophic love life.

However, I came back from lunch with my mom and sister to a very mysterious package on my desk. Remembering that my office is not an airport, I proceeded to open it.

I am beside myself as to what I found inside and this post is dedicated to admiring you, my Admirer...

This is what I unwrapped:

"Hints of cinnamon, spices, and chipotle balanced by smooth vanilla notes."

A box of assorted Godiva Truffles containing the only relevant flavors to my world; the Champagne Truffle, which is the signature truffle to my life, the Aztec Spice Truffle, for a little kick, and the Birthday Cake Truffle, because no box is complete without a little color and a few sprinkles.


The book Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Which only highlights the three most important things in the world, delicious food that's worth stretchy pants, peace of mind and a grounded self, and great love. I've seen the movie but have never read the book and have heard it's so, so much better.


A Hello Kitty leopard neck pillow. Which is only perfect because I stopped stealing my ex's neck pillow on long flights after we broke up (obviously) and started doing this move my best friend, MP calls "The Exorcist"...not as hot as it sounds, but please ask us to demonstrate it for you.


Prosecco Spumante Extra Dry Era...organic and vegan, this betch knows me. This will most definitely be popped tomorrow night as I attempt to overpack my closet at the last minute. No one should ever have to pack sober! Wait, maybe that's my problem all along...

Saturday, November 23, 2013

It's a Party; Chick Flicks.


So, it's finally cold rainy(ish) outside and you may not feel like getting all dressed up after your 6 pm bikram yoga class to go out and meet the girls. Totally understandable. 

a.) It sucks royally to have to go from loosey goosey Lululemon to structured skinnies.
b.) The thought of having to style your hair out of that top knot gives you heartburn.
c.) Is "girl time" really worth trekking through the puddles in your studded suede McQueen's?

Solution? Girls night in. Not corny "White Chicks" status sleepover (although this is a great choice in movie)...no matching pajama sets, cornrows or snickers bars allowed. I'm talking about a really kicka** night in. A hilarious movie, yummy food, lots to drink, and best of all, the dress code...yoga pants.


Here's what's involved:



A Feature Film. Let this be whatever movie you've all been dying to see, but don't really care about listening to the dialogue. Anything with Melissa McCarthy or Katherine Heigl is a good option.


Comfy Seating. Bring out the piles of blankets, lots of pillows. You're about to get drunk and talk sh*t about men...you're not moving for hours.


Beverages. A really good pre-mixed cocktail recipe is a must and so are a couple bottles of wine and champagne on hand. I absolutely love Monica Hart's four-ingredient drink featured above. Personally, it's even better with a splash of sparkling rosé.


Snacks...lots of fun snacks. Lets face it, get us females into yoga pants and hand us some alcohol and we act like a 15 year old boy who got high for the first time. We want to munch. As long as it's "healthy" of course...(aka the above "Vegan Pink Popcorn" - butter free, salt free, gluten free, fat free, sugar free, you skinny betch.)

Other good ideas to munch on:


1. Homemade vegan cupcakes. A really easy recipe here: Vegan Cupcake Recipe by yummly.com.


2. An assembled cheese plate. I love this graph above, use your imagination to the max.


3. Paleo snack mix. I'm obsessed with this recipe for Apple Pie Snack Mix. End of story.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Champagne with an Essence; Magnifico Giornata.


I love champagne...and even more so, I love a fabulous party

Feel free to quote me on that.

A couple weeks ago I was invited to Brian Malarkey's Herringbone for a Magnifico Giornata launch party. Having learned a little bit of Italian for my next trip to Italy in December, I knew that Magnifico Giornata meant "Magnificent Day," in this case, it was a "Magnificent Night."


The theme was black and gold...my two favorite colors. But as far as flavors are considered, there were three; Lavender Honey, Ginger Pêche, and Grapefruit Blanc.


Magnifico Giornata is not your standard champagne, it's champagne with an essence. Each essence captured in a magnificent bottle is a must-have statement to your night. It's not your standard champagne, which simply hydrates the lives of the party, it's Magnifico Giornata, that brings the Magnificent to your party.


Now, I'd like to suggest three magnificent pieces to act as the backdrop to your essence...

For Lavender Honey:


For Ginger Pêche:


For Grapefruit Blanc:


A party is not complete without the Magnificent...be sure to order a case of Magnifico Giornata for your next affair, whether it's a Gatsby party for many or an exclusive evening for one. It's all about being Magnifico! 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Logos Aside; Graphic T's You Need.


Anyone who has ever seen me more than two times knows that I have a total obsession with graphic tees. They're my thing. Black skinnies, hot kicks, a graphic tee. Uniform on.

I had to buy an entirely new dresser to put in my room and started folding all my shirts because my closet was exploding with graphics. It's totally effing belittling btw, having to pack my 70 cent t-shirts away that manufacturers are making a $140.00 profit on.

Anyway. The fact that I'm filing my money away on t-shirts must mean that I am totally invested in this staple. I whole heartedly believe that graphic tees symbolize such a statement.


For the record, "logos" aside. No free advertising, darling. You're better than that. This includes all "célfie" and "BALLIN" shirts if they're not actually Céline or Balmain...I agree that they're catchy but they're also cliché. Lastly, I apologize in advance if some of these rags are more than your car payment. It's nuts. Don't say I didn't warn you.

These are a few of my faves...





Monday, November 18, 2013

Hippie Mondays.


I don't know what it is about Mondays, but I always end up looking like an effing hippie. Regardless of how much sleep I get the night before, my Monday always comes with a case of the bed head. Other symptoms to include Violet Fatale stained lips from the weekend nights and the lingering scent of Tom Ford's private blends.

I don't believe in such a thing as "day" fragrance, so I spritz on a little Champaca Absolute, which layers perfectly with whatever I had on the night before. My lips are a lost cause.

Leva Laguna for Free People

The only way to make my hair look less roadkill and more "Olsen" is to obviously pair it with something out of a Free People catalogue...except more rich.

Only do I realize after getting dressed that my feet are still numb from the knee-high Louboutins that seemed like a great idea at 9:00 p.m., but ended up sucking royally by 2:00 a.m. Gladiator flats are my go-to (think vintage Marant, not Madden).


How do I make this entire look work for me in a way that doesn't resemble a homeless walk of shame? Other than a shower being involved (and a caffeinated beverage of choice), I make sure to create a free-spirited vibe. Freshness is key. No one likes dark and dingy at the start of the week.



Obviously this doesn't mean no black. Who do you think I am?

Guidelines are as follows:

1. Patterns are good. Fabrics in tatters are bad.
2. Shoes to consider - gladiator flats, booties or boots...no floppy flips.
3. Fringe is cool and so are flares. Fringed flares are never cool.
4. Loose cardigans are key. No side boob at the office.
5. Jewelry, accessorize please. Round Oliver Peoples glasses outside only.

This is what I call Hippie Mondays...it's brilliant.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Linen Tablecloths; A Girl's Best Kept Secret.


So the other night, this guy asked me to dinner. I agreed to go before knowing the place because the guy was cool and his taste was on par. The day of, he confirms and says he made a reservation for that night at 8 pm. Ok great, where? Mr. A's, he says. Score. I can bring out my big girl shoes.

If you're a guy, you're shaking your head and about to scroll down to the Cookie post (Cookies with an Edge; The Cravory.) that I did a couple days ago. Go ahead, I'm not judging. FYI: they taste even better than they look.

If you're a girl, you know it's simple math.

Valet parking, 6 steps to the elevator, elevator ride, not even a shuffle, off at the 14th floor, 4 steps to the hostess stand, walk to the table, 10-16 steps depending on location and view, table with a white linen table cloth, home free, the shoes come off. Your date doesn't have a clue.

On average, five out of five brilliant, shoe savvy betches know this secret.

For the rest of you, it's time you learn the equation...

Date at a restaurant with valet = hot shoes.
Date at a restaurant with valet and linen tablecloths = your hottest shoes.

I pray for the dates that I am able to take my highest pair for the perfect walk, kick them off before the bottle is even uncorked, and have a blissful dinner barefoot before I have to make my exit...my feet hopefully numb from the bubbly before the shoes come back on.

I can't even count the number of times a linen tablecloth has been the determining factor on whether or not my cage Givenchy heels from hell get to see life outside of my shoe closet.

Here are 5 fabulous restaurants in San Diego with a 50 step minimum roundtrip and a white linen tablecloth safe haven...

1. Bertrand at Mister A's
2. Market
3. Mille Fleurs
4. NINE-TEN
5. Roppongi

And here are 5 shoes worth every step:


$735


Footnote: Use caution when slipping off your shoes that require too much effort to get back on. You can only "fish around" for the napkin you dropped for so long before your date reaches underneath the table to help and comes up with a beautifully pointed toe Sergio Rossi with crisscross ankle straps. Make it fast putting them back on or stick to slip-in pumps.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Givenchy (jhee-von-shee).


Givenchy (jhee-von-shee). 

If you're going to wear it, you better know how to effing pronounce it. If I hear give-en-chee one more time, I'm going to have a B.F., a "b*tch fit" for those of you who have never seen the movie White Chicks. In fact, it's probably the White Chick virgins who are butchering this pronunciation all along.

It's french, you imbécile.

Uh oh, now you're nervous. Lanvin, Goyard, Hermès...what if they're not pronounced in the cheapy American slang sold in department stores that you thought they were?


And this dress is to die.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

How to Drink and Fly Responsibly.

Fact: People drink on airplanes.
Motive(s)? Fear of flying, boredom, addiction, whatever.


Fact: Not all people who drink on planes, drink gracefully.
Example(s)? Xanax, drinking games, alcoholism, etc.

Even if you're a frequent traveler or a frequent drinker, everything is a little bit different thousands of feet up in the air. You have a lot more factors to figure into the equation if you decide to hold a flute and fly. For example, the side effects of using sleeping pills during your 14-hour flight weigh into account and perhaps, so does the consumption of cheap alcohol...don't think for even a second that the full minibar in first class is that of the Four Seasons.

How to drink and fly responsibly:


1. Don't be cheap. What you don't pay for up front, you'll pay for later. Think quality vs. quantity. It's a much wiser idea to buy one Kettle One on the rocks than to buy four Smirnoff Ice. Avoid looking like you're playing Jenga with the empty bottles.


2. Pop an aspirin. The altitude alone is enough to give anyone a headache, and an added drink in the mix will make it worse. Substitute one of those olives in your dirty martini for an Aleve before your temples start to throb.


3. Speaking of temples... Avoid ordering drinks with a lot of sugar in them like Dirty Shirley's or anything with Red Bull (even if it's "sugar free"). You will be bouncing off the walls of the cabin, not a good look on a posh International flight.


4. Drink your drink. Don't shift it around, don't blow bubbles in it, just throw it back. There's nothing I hate more than someone swishing around a Jack 'n Coke while I'm trying to finish my soy latte and read the latest Vogue I saved for an entire week to read on the plane. And no, please do not buy me a shot.


5. Speaking of pick-up lines... Save 'em for baggage claim or the taxi line. At least where there is an escape route available other than on an inflatable slide out the side of the craft.

(unless you're Alexander Skarsgard)

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