From a very young age, females have always been in competition with other females...primarily for the attention of the male species. Who's prettier? Who's smarter? Who's funnier? Whoever wins comes out on top, known as the alpha betch.
When it comes to dressing however, us females are not seeking the attention of the male species. Not at all. We may believe that we are dressing to look hot and impress the TD&H (tall, dark, and handsome) sitting at the corner of the bar, but really we are dressing to look hot and impress the BBIH (baddest bitch in heels) sitting front and center with her Louboutin dangling off her perfectly pedicured toe...in this month's trendy vampy color, might I add.
We as women, predominantly dress for other women. It's that female vs. female competitive nature that has been ingrained in our brains since before we were even born.
Remember in kindergarden when we all got those sparkly jelly sandals from Nordies - circa live pianists performing on the third floor? Fess up, you know the ones I'm talking about. We didn't get those shoes because they impressed the hottie eating crayons in the baseball cap, he would have been down with our white Keds. We got them to compete with all of the other sparkly jelly sandal wearing princesses skipping around the playground.
Who has a hotter handbag? Who's Herve Leger has more unnecessary accents (meaning, it was more expensive than the basic bandage)? Who is wearing the season after next season's Charlotte Olympia novelty pumps? These are all questions we ask ourselves when dressing for other women.
If you want to get the guy, grow a personality and bust out some cleavage.
If you want to beat out the BBIH, get on your Girl Hot game.
1. Mirror, mirror, on the wall...who has the vampiest lips of them all?
No guy dreams of kissing Chanel Rouge Noir lips, but I can guarantee that any female within lipshot would love to get her hands on a dark pout of her own. Not to be pulled off by the novice, this shade requires a backbone and conviction.
2. "I want that girl wearing the cape..." said no man ever.
But, how many women would skin the girl alive to be wearing that ivory Céline cape she rode in on. Difficult to acquire and worth more than a six-month luxury car lease, this is the cream of the cape.
3. See you later, alligator. After awhile, crocodile.
Most men don't understand the difference between "faux" and "pho," but us women know the difference between the faux thing and real thing...and the crocodile Hermès Birkin is the real deal. Beckams the word.
4. Witches Hats vs. Bitches Hats.
Double double, couture, and trouble...most men don't know the difference. Riding in on your broomstick rocking one of these Saint Laurent head toppers is a serious gift, and no amount of magic is even questioned.
5. Bootie, bootie, bootie, bootie, rockin' everywhere...
To men, the hardware on these Chanel boots from the Fall 2013 collection walking down the runway of Paris Fashion Week might as well be fishing line, but to the female eyes, these boots hook, line, and sinker.