Do you ever wake up in the morning with a total allergic reaction that doesn't subside until just before noon? Do you down coffee like it's Benadryl and break out in hives at the thought of working out before work? If so, you, my darling, may be allergic to mornings.
Take my self diagnostic test to find out:
1. At your 6 am yoga class, do you:
a) Get down in your downward facing dog.
b) Take a shavasana.
c) Not ever attend a 6 am yoga class.
2. Describe your typical morning hairstyle:
a) A fresh DIY blow out.
b) A messy top knot.
c) Multiple messy knots woven all throughout your hair.
3. In line at Starbucks, what do you order:
a) Herbal Breakfast Tea.
b) A Grande Coffee, Bold Roast.
c) A Venti Americano with a Quadruple-Shot Espresso on the side.
4. What kind of shoes are your morning staples:
a) A pair of understated Louboutin pumps.
b) A pair of chic Charlotte Olympia flats.
c) A left Louboutin pump and a right Charlotte Olympia cat embellished flat.
5. When it's time to start responding to emails, do you:
a) Form proper sentences.
b) Copy a responses from previous emails sent to other clients.
c) Hit 'delete.'
If you answered C more than once, I'm here to tell you that you are allergic to mornings. But don't worry, this is as common of an allergy as to gluten or dandelion pollen, and I have some great cures to try out to put you into better shape upon the rise and shine hour.
The following are a few great allergy reliefs for mornings...
Tip #1: Hydrate well before you go to bed after drinking a bottle of champagne with your girlfriend on Wednesday night. I recommend chugging a bottle of blk. (bee-el-kay) - it's fulvic-enhanced all-natural mineral water that I'm obsessed with. Save your coconut water for post-yoga tomorrow.
Tip #2: Invest in a really cool pair of Nikes as frequently as it takes you to get excited about them in the morning. I understand that this may become a hoarding problem, so don't go crazy, but do keep your fitness gear appealing for those wee hours of the morning so that you make it to your trainer on time.
Tip #3: Get a really cool mug that makes you happy. My go-to coffee mug is a fabulous Henri Bendel mug that I picked up in the store last time I was visiting the city. It fills my morning hunger and sleepiness with amazing memories and I'm totally ok with downing only one cup. Quality over quantity, always remember that.
Tip #4: Now, I'm not telling you to become a dog owner, but find something in the morning to motivate you to want to get up! Whether it's a puppy that needs a walk, a girlfriend who wants to chat, or maybe a boyfriend who wants to get it __...you get the picture.
Tip #5: This feeling. Don't worry, you'll get there.
Good morning, darling!