The number one rule to remember as far as luggage is concerned is: if it has a logo on it, carry it on.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard of someone's luggage being missing from the baggage carousel and when they go to the airline's baggage claim office they say, "It was a bright red patent logo monogrammed Louis Vuitton! How could someone have accidentally taken it?"
Okay, slow down b*tch. First of all, no one "accidentally" took your luggage. Second of all, your bag was fire-engine-red-screaming-to-be-stolen. Third of all, if you're that delayed in the brain you don't deserve Louis Vuitton in the first place.
Never ever check your Louis Vuitton. Case closed.
But, what about everything else? Let me break it down for you.
Goyard luggage trunks.
1. If it has a logo on it, carry it on. Back to rule number one. This doesn't just pertain to those of you with the obnoxiously classic L.V. monogrammed luggage, this has to do with any signature logo what so ever. We're talking prints, emblem, etc. Your Goyard chevron print trunk is a walking logo, don't forget. And that plastic hard shelled Prada roller with the little gold triangular emblem at the top...yup, it's included.
2. If you have a tag to your expensively unmarked black luggage line, exchange it. People who take bags are not idiots, generally they're smarter than you if they've taken yours. They know your expensive "no name" brand and guess what? It has a name to them, it's called "worth something." Exchange your luggage tag to something completely cheapy. I recommend taking a thousand of the paper tags from where you check your luggage, scribbling your information on them all, and attaching it to every one of your suitcase's handles. Or, steal your sister's neon flashing luggage tag off her old suitcase at home, just make sure she's not planning on traveling with you.
3. If you steal your sister's neon flashing luggage tag off her old suitcase at home and she's not planning on traveling with you, make sure that the information on the tag is relevant to you. If you lose your I.D. in Vegas and you're trying to board the plane with your Middle Eastern friends without any identification other than your boarding pass, you don't want your luggage tag saying a different name and address. True story.
4. If you take this information too critically and buy low grade luggage, you will be sorry. Your $50 suitcase will fall apart in transit and you'll end up with all of your possessions strewn along the baggage carousel. This is like an airport piñata, people will be collecting your things and not returning them.
5. If you can't put away your flashy card for a hot second, travel private.