The Scenario: You landed in Vegas, little jetsetter you, and you polished off a bottle of wine over a late liquid lunch at La Cave with your girlfriend. You have fancy schmancy dinner plans in 4 hours. There is no way in Sin City hell that you liquid eye liner is going to be able to go on straight, let alone talking your hair into laying straight.
The Solution: Get ready in Vegas baby, my way.
1. Book an appointment at Dollheads (702-431-4315). It's not the Encore Spa, so you won't be paying over $100 with tip per head. Save your treatments there for tomorrow, trust me, a facial and massage will be just what your Green Machine hangover fueled body will need. Dollheads is only $40 for a basic blow out and they do a fantastic job.
2. Do not, I repeat, do not accept a mimosa upon arriving at Dollheads. They are 99% OJ from something even worse than concentrate. Ask for a water and a bottle of champagne (to share with your girlfriend...lush).
3. Absolutely do not let your girlfriend talk you into buying a wig. I don't care if it's as a funny surprise for your friend's bachelorette party. Your hair will not survive the wig cap, even though the stylist says it will (liar, she's working off commission), and you will look like an idiot. Even a Moroccan princess could not pull this look off.
4. After your blow out, head straight to Neimans. When the make-up artist at Tom Ford is on her "break" do not settle for any other make-up artists sitting around. Go play in the Shoe Salon.
5. If the Valentino flats your friend is trying on look like Tom's, tell her by saying, "Are those Tom's? Super cute." She will put them right down and will thank you in the long run.
6. When the Tom Ford make-up artist is back, feel free to be picky. You waited long enough and probably already spent a pretty penny to shoe...show...for it.
7. If you got an air-brush tan the day before, do not let your make-up artist con you into buying any skincare or face make-up. You don't always look like Ross from Friends during the episode when he gets his spray tan, so don't bother bringing home new palettes to remember it by. Stick to eyeshadows and lipsticks, you're in Neimans, you'll get to your purchase quota.
8. Walk across the street to your suite at Encore at the Wynn, you still have about 3 sips of wine to burn off before dinner, save the cab for later when your feet need a saving grace.
9. Call ahead for your damn luggage that you left with the bellman because you didn't want to wait in your room a hot second. Speaking from personal experience (as with all the other points I've been making...), do not wait until you get up to your room to call for your luggage. Especially if you left the Louis at the Wynn when your staying at Encore. Big difference. You will end up waiting an hour and a half and have eaten half a box of wheat thins in your bed during the process.
10. Slip on that glitzy Vegas dress (Balmain or Versace do the job) and your hooker heels, throw the contents of your clutch together, retouch your newly purchased pout, and head on out the door!
Viva Las Vegas!