Fashion Fades; Style is Eternal

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Saturday, June 29, 2013

Ombré Shorts.

You may ombré your hair:

This: Medium to light blonde ombré.

That: Subtle dark to golden ombré.

You may ombré your nails:

This: Edgy color to black ombré.
 
NOT That: Sheer to black tipped claw ombré.

But please, for the life of me, do not ombré your shorts:

I don't care if they're long and boxy.
 
I don't care if they're short, frayed, and up your a**.
 
 Don't do it.
Xo.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Whimsical Solstice.

Hotel Athenee, Paris

Tell me, a more playful and classically carefree time of the year than the first few days of summer? The summer solstice has passed us darlings, and the sunny days are only getting shorter from here on out, it's time to make your wardrobe as whimsical as possible!

How to channel this approach without looking too completely childish?

Check out these suggestions...

$1,495

Gravitate towards a floral print with defined edges (outlines in the sketch). If you take on a floral print that's a huge glob of color and consumes the entire fabric without leaving a "backdrop" to lay on, you risk looking like a mess of a Monet. This Dolce & Gabbana piece above leaves a perfect splash of white and the floral print is elegant without looking like drapery.

$750
$299 Sale
  
I absolutely love pastel wedges in summer, especially with freshly bronzed legs from the sun. Just be sure to watch your materials - absolutely no pastel patent allowed! I love the suede (shown in the above pair of Miu Miu's) and anything resembling a cloth fabric is great for daytime. I strongly urge you to go on barneys.com and buy this pair or one like it because it's less than half the price of the original - a complete steal.
The best part of playing dress up, except for picking out the shoes, is raiding the jewelry box. I'm a huge fan of costume jewelry especially when it has to do with a huge collage of jewels. Sharon Khazzam takes the essence of childhood dress up and mixes it with high end gems to create beautiful statement pieces to add to any wardrobe selection.

Jean Paul Gaultier does the best caftans in the world. I have an entire drawer full of them and would wear them on the street if I could. Thrown over a bikini or a cut out one-piece, these caftans are the best poolside accessory this summer. If you stick to Jean Paul, you'll never have trouble finding a beautiful pattern and will be almost guaranteed to be one of a kind with his exclusive numbers.


Let me tell you right now how madly obsessed I am with Sheer d'Armani. From a girl who only wears Chanel Allure and Tom Ford bolds, it's not easy switching up my lip accessories, but Armani makes a new favorite. The Vintage Pink Collection is a favorite for summer and works day and night for a natural kiss of the pout.

$385
$149 Sale

Normally, I'd say ban all usage of sequins from May to October, but DVF does sequins right all year long with her Elley Mini Printed Sequins Skirt. If you haven't seen this piece in person, all department stores are carrying it. I absolutely love the white and black with a splash of color and the sequins are so understated that it makes this skirt sparkle with chic.
$1,175

The Foldover is about to be your very best friend. Not only does it come in a fresh matted coral color, but it works as an amazing tote to carry around all of your day's worth of belongings by channeling your inner Mary Poppins and unfolding into an endless pit. I know, us women love our endless pits of bags. When it comes time to go out, just unload your possessions and fold back up for a fun summer clutch.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Sticks & Stones.

 
Many of you have been inquiring on my lack of "consistency" with the blog and my general well being. Have I moved to Vegas? No, I was just there twice in one week. Do I just sit around drinking champagne all day at Neiman's Shoe Salon and forget to blog? No, in my spare time I just instagram cool looking bubbles and expensive pairs of red soles for your amusement (okay, and my own).

The truth is, three months ago I went through the most heart wrenching break up I have ever experienced in my life. Is he gay, you ask? Not that I'm aware of. Did he make the biggest mistake of his life? Yes, and I think that every day. Thank you for the support, but you and I both telling myself that he's an idiot doesn't help anything.

Over the past three months I have been on the greatest bender of my life. I have never been more alone - hence the traveling to a different city every week and exhausting myself to utter immobility so that my body couldn't breathe and I was numb factor. Yet, I have never found such strength in myself...the strength in starting from scratch.

It's terrifying losing that one person who was your constant, as many of you have already experienced, I was a first timer. For me, my first and only love of my life and best friend had died. And although I pretended I didn't give two sh*ts that this person was dead to me because it was so, so easy to put my f*ck it attitude on and do a skanky dance, it didn't change the fact that not a single thing went by that didn't make me think of him...to this day.

Now, don't worry, this isn't a sob story, and this certainly isn't a 'dis story. Sticks and stones may break his bones, but collecting twigs and throwing sediment will only wear you down. This is the "Biography of a Bitchin' Broken Heart" in the works, and it will be in bookstores and on Amazon near you...written by yours, fashionably and truly.

Dedicated to the asshole who broke my heart and turned out to be the best mistake of my fabulous life, I owe my inspiration to you, darling.

From Chapter 1 of the break up ("It's not you, it's me." - setting: gym parking lot after over 3 1/2 years) to Chapter 4 (Give your ex a funeral, and you a proper black out) to Chapter 7 (Find a hotter, wealthier, taller man to sleep with...with the same Persian name.) to Chapter 10 (Learn how to make a chicken, because you can't eat your shitty kale salads forever)...and so on.

I hope you're as excited as I am, stay tuned.

Amalfi.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Attending The White Party; The Rules.

The White Party

Get ready for the most popular themed party for the next 2.5 months - The White Party. After going to two of them over the past weekend, I know I'm going to have to stock up on some appropriate whites to add into my Black Sea of a closet...luckily, whites are so easy to repeat.

Here are a The Rules for attending The White Party:

It's ok to steal a little attention.

1. If you're going to The White Party, wear white. The only exceptions are the following: 1. Your gay best friend is throwing it - in this case, the only white he will be wearing at most is a pair of super chic Dolce & Gabbana trousers paired with a brightly colored sport jacket, pattern most likely included, bow tie optional depending on his hair., 2. You're crashing The White Party after 1:00 am and are coming from your hot hipster boyfriend's art exhibit opening, who is also moodily tagging along wearing all black.

Blake Lively's "a pop of color."

2. Yes, this means you wear white shoes too. I don't care if you want to add "a pop of color" to your white Marc Jacobs sheath with the huge-white-double-breasted-buttons. If this is an all white party, stick to the paint sample please. I'm willing to bet my vodka soda on it that every other girl would much rather wear this season's neon green Jimmy Choo's rather than last season's white strappy leather Manolos. P.S. If you do randomly choose to wear your white patent leather Louboutin pumps and they just so happen to have "a pop of color" on the sole, this is totally ok and super cool and something I would do...just saying.

Lemon and/or lime allowed.

3. Speaking of vodka sodas, order one. Why? Because they're clear.

Kyle Richards deathly close to the water.

4. On the subject of things not so transparent, don't you dare get a spray tan the day of. Even worse, don't you dare do a D.I.Y. self-tanner the day of. I don't want to see orange streaks on your white outfit, and more so importantly, I don't want to see orange streaks on my white outfit as you brush on by. If I see the latter, I may just bump you into the pool and walk away. Don't worry, white and water are a boy's best friend...you'll recover.

VS Angels in white.

5. Forego the neutral lip. You're already in white, enough with the corpse look. I suggest a bright red à la Marilyn Monroe, a lavender purple à la Givenchy Spring runway, or a fun pink à la Barbie. And as far as fragrance is concerned, definitely spritz up. It will set you apart. However, I beg, do not do some "airy light young prostitute" parfum, you're wafty enough as it is in white, grab onto some substance and musk.

Chanel Effing Flap disgrace.

6. Leave your Chanel Effing Flap at home. Just because you have one doesn't mean it needs to be with you everywhere. Unless it's a mini white on a gold chain worn long and not doubled, leave it at home with your dog (in separate corridors, of course, don't let Dina make it into a chew toy). I suggest carrying a delicate Judith Leiber or a hideously ginormous white Birkin that you shouldn't own under the age of 65.

Chuck Bass does it right.

7. If you have a male date in tow, make sure he isn't wearing a white tuxedo button down with pleats and ruffles and further embarrassing details. A plain white button down will do, a white silk V-neck is even better. A white jacket is necessary, and it must not be leather or linen. A different color trim is acceptable as an accessory. As far as shoes go, I love a pair of patent white Pradas with a chunky sole or a pair of white suede Tod's...not to be confused with Tom's. Socks must be white and the only jewelry that can be worn is a watch. No gold chains or pinky rings...we don't want him looking like a Cuban Drug Lord. Save that role for closed doors.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Summer Skirts Exposed.

It's summertime and the best time of the year to rock a fun, casual skirt. Looking through style pins, I found some absolute skirt disasters putting themselves out in the open to the public eye. I've chosen three looks that highlight some serious skirt crimes in hopes that you'll learn from them and not create the same catastrophe on the streets.

Don't worry, no faces were exposed...

1. Celibate in the City.
 

Congratulations. You've officially given a skirt absolutely no sex appeal whatsoever. How the hell did you do it? White linen top with no structure, hemline at the calf, gladiator shoes an actual gladiator would wear. You sure did frigid it up nicely.

2. Patterned Poverty.


There are three things wrong with the skirt. "Three things?" you ask. No darling, more than three things, but we don't have time to go through them all. One, the atrocious print. Two, the tiered skirt layers. Three, the waistband. Case and point: Not all gorgeous models have a brain large enough to dress themselves.

3. My (un)Favorite Martian.


Where did you drop from? Out of space? This look imitates a martian, and definitely not my favorite martian. Your sweater and shoes need a pair of "Audrey" cropped slim trousers and your skirt needs to be burned. P.S. No one wears that shape of sunglasses here on Earth.

Now, here are a few of my favorite summer looks that I urge you to engulf and copy away...

1. Sporty and short.


2. Paired with a simple black tank.


3. Colorful, high-waisted, Chanel belted, chic.


 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Dos and Don'ts for the Rest of Polo Season.

  San Diego Polo Players
 
Yesterday was Opening Day at the San Diego Polo Club. Ladies in wedges gave the ponies' fancy footwear a run for their money and a number of dapper gentlemen wore their white pants proud. As we await for the pictures to be released for my yearly Best Dressed polo posts (San Diego Polo Club's Opening Day from 2011 and San Diego Polo Club, Opening Day 2012), I thought it'd be fun to do a little "Dos and Don'ts" list to keep in check for the rest of polo season.

Polo Season
Dos and Don'ts

Partner in Crime/Designer of Azzurra Capri, Diana, and I
  
1. Do dress up. I get it, there's not a "specifically stated strict" dress code enforced at the Polo Club, but Dear God, try to at least look presentable. Some of you showed up looking like you were out for your Sunday grocery shopping at Whole Foods and on your way back to Fairbanks when you decided to stop by the field to see what was going on. Blue denim jeans and a white zip up jacket from a cheap Dolce & Gabbana track suit are not a good look. Men and women alike are included in this bad example since I saw this outfitted style from both genders yesterday, you know who you are...although you're probably not reading my blog, please start.

2. Don't drink the cheap champagne by the glass. Korbel sucks and you will get a massive headache before the bartender even pops open the bottle...oh wait, it's probably already opened and flat from the previous cheap ass who only bought a glass. Buy a bottle - even if you have to hire somebody to walk around next to you and carry it. Note: Ladies, this is what super nice and hot boyfriends are for.

Polo Player Spraying Veuve

3. Do bring a pair of sunglasses. Even if they don't fit in your itty bitty clutch, do bring a pair. When you leave your VIP tent to go out for the champagne divot stomp on the field you're going to want them...especially if you're a couple flutes of Dom deep. I made this mistake yesterday thinking that my new Tom Ford eyeshadow palette was too hot to cover up and ended up being blinded by a horrible mix of sun and photographers. Blue eyeshadow got in my eye from all the squinting and soon enough I was crying cobalt blue tears...Allure magazine, where's my close up?

Scott Disick

4. Don't match your ex-boyfriend. If you have a gold "H" Hermès belt and he has a gold "H" Hermès belt and it's Opening Day at the Polo Club, what are the chances you will both wear your gold "H" Hermès belts? Pretty much a guarantee. Best way to avoid the situation in the future? Don't buy your next boyfriend such nice matching gifts for Christmas because you will not get it back in the break up bag along with your Neutrogena face wipes and flat iron.

Cheese and Carbs

5. Do order a cheese platter. You didn't eat all day so that you could fit into your sundress or high-waisted trousers (that I beg of you, are not made out of stretchy fabric), you deserve a bite or three of cheese and carbs. Plus this is the only decent appetizer on the menu. If you think browned celery sticks and GMO hummus are healthy, you're on crack. Order the cheese board to share and save yourself an impulse slider later on in the afternoon that you grabbed off the nicely dressed man's plate.

6. Don't wear lip gloss. You are just asking for a Monet in your hair if you do. This is the day to try out a new lip stain. In fact, this is the day that the lip stain was invented for. It doesn't move around your face, and it doesn't transfer to your hair and act like an adhesive when a gust of wind decides to sweep across the field...which is every minute of the afternoon.

Audrey Hepburn, Funny Face

7. Do refrain from dancing too much. I know, I know, you had the time of your life at the Polo Club and you just do not want the greatest afternoon of your aged life to end! But please, collect yourself and gracefully leave when it is time to leave. Do not dance after the DJ has packed up his tracks and left, do not dance as the maintenance crew is shuffling sh*t from the porter potties. Better hope your dancing shoes Shuffled off to Buffalo long, long ago.

8. Don't talk loudly about your Bentley waiting in line at valet. Especially if the valet boy brings up a Bentley that was rented by the fake b*tch standing next to you at last week's event. Renting cars is like Rent the Runway, it's hardly (not at all) acceptable and slightly (very) in appropriate. If you're that ashamed of your 2006 BMW, spare yourself the rented humiliation and money and Uber it home.

Pony Room at the Rancho Valencia

9. Do find a fun after party to go to. You're dressed way too hot to go on home. If there isn't a spoken of after party that you're interested in stopping by, throw one of your own. I suggest heading over to Rancho Valencia and tasting their varieties of Mescal in the Pony Room. Market is fun too if you want to be le fancy and a tad bit cliché. Avoid L'Auberge or anything over by the Del Mar Plaza because you will end up sitting in traffic due to the crazy carnies caravan-ing to the Del Mar Fair.

Cambiaso, and there you have it.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Rawther Fancy Tea Parties.

Darling Eloise

You don't have to be six and love pink to enjoy a rawther fancy tea party. I've been to some exquisite tea parties at my current age, wearing head to toe black, and have had a fabulous time. Tea is the perfect substitute to lunch or happy hour and is the best excuse to trade your diet coke and Asian chicken salad for champagne and mini scones the size of wontons.

Here are a few of my favorite places for tea time...




Others up for mention: 

1. The Carlyle 
2. La Valencia 
3. Montage 
4. Four Seasons Las Vegas 
5. The James Royal Palm

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Fashionable Poolside Reads.

 
The second the June gloom starts to wear off, I don't know about you, but I am parked poolside for the remainder of the summer (which, luckily for me, lasts until October in sunny San Diego) with a bottle of chilled Suja in one hand (at times mixed with champagne) and a bottle of tanning oil in the other.

My only problem: Vogue publishes monthly.

What am I supposed to fashionably engulf for the rest of the 30ish days of the month? This b*tch is hungry for couture, and I'm not about to divvy up my Vogue spread. I want style, I want inspiration, I want labels on demand.

Thankfully, I've found some great fashionable poolside reads that stand in as the perfect substitute, and they all fit in the palm of my hand - no giant coffee table books on the pool rafts...




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