Fashion Fades; Style is Eternal

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Thursday, March 7, 2013

Totally Totes, not.

Tote bags? Totes not into it. 

Over-stuffing a cheaply structured bag only creates back problems and handle marks on your boney shoulders. Not cute. The only tote bag that I'm fine with rocking all year long is my Louis Vuitton Neverfull (aka alwaysfull) - and that's only because it's feelings would have totally gotten hurt if I had called it a tote bag to it's face...sorry Louis.

However, many department stores would LOVE to argue with me. They love tote bags. Why? Because they're pennies to make (designers distribute them at low cost), they fill up tons of space (a dream for a display), and they seem so RTW (Ready To-throw a-Way) that you'll be onto the next thing within a week. Don't fall for it.

And for those of you who think a tote bag is the same thing as a "so Olsen" YSL or a "Kept Up Kardashian" Balenciaga, you're so wrong.

Let me break it down for you: 1. Tote bags suck, 2. Oversized structured bags are essential.

And designers make totes look bad too, it's not all about the name.

TOTE DESIGNER DISASTERS:

$1025

Last I checked, a shopper bag is for Whole Foods. Is Givenchy out of his effing beautiful mind? $1025 to carry your produce in? Oh wait, no, it's a tote. Sneaky. And with Madonna on it? So 1987.

$2595

It's not just a bag, it's Prada. Well just because it's Prada, it's still not acceptable. This Madras Tote Bag looks like Dorothy meets Yellow Brick Road. It's so huge you could fit 3 Totos in that tote.

$2200

Oh, a removable mirror! How Balenciaga of you Brunello Cucinelli! Your bag looks like a kangaroo pouch. I wouldn't tote this around if my life depended on it, but props for the blush tone. 

Take my advice and never carry around a tote, not even if it was free with your fragrance.

They're totally over.

Xo. 

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