Fashion Fades; Style is Eternal

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Friday, August 19, 2011

Herve Leger Bandage Dress Crimes.

Lets talk about the iconic Herve Leger Bandage Dress for a moment here...


I'm not one to knock down the signature bandage dress. Perfect fall-back dress to keep in the closet, no one will criticize you for wearing it (except for me, and I'll tell you why in a moment), and it's a great dress to throw on when you want to stick with a solid color wardrobe to show off a killer pair of shoes or piece of statement jewelry.

There was one Vegas trip we went on for my boyfriend's birthday last year where the only dresses I brought to go out in were an assortment of H.L. bandage dresses. This decision was primarily due to the fact that they fold perfectly (and don't wrinkle) in a L.V. duffel bag that I was forced to CARRY ON the airplane. Worked out great under the circumstances that I'm no longer allowed to go on group trips with checked bags...but I'll save that story for another time.

Now, that moment has come, and I will discuss with you when and why I will criticize you when you're wearing an Herve Leger Bandage Dress...

1. The Herve Leger Bandage Dress is the Rich Girl's American Apparel Spandex Jersey Dress. I know it sounds harsh, but it's true. No creativity went into the design of the dress what so ever from either lines. (Clarification: This is obviously a different case if we're talking about some of the more intricately woven bandage dresses...but I'm referring to the PLAIN SOLID COLOR bandage dress.) Please make it your own! Throw on a cropped leather bomber jacket, grab a bright snakeskin clutch, wrap a bunch of chunky necklaces around your neck, anything!


2. You have no style if you are wearing your Herve Leger Bandage Dress, boring Christian Louboutin pumps, and Jumbo Sized Chanel Reissue 2.55...and you're at a cocktail/celebratory event. The only thing this ensemble you've chosen proves is that you have expensive stuff. Don't bring your 2.55 to a festive function - this is a casual daytime bag, I don't care how much you spent on it. AND don't wear your classic Louboutin pumps - this is just boring. If you're wearing a Herve Leger Bandage Dress, we already know you own at least one pair of red soled pumps. So the same applies here from my first point, if you're going to wear your bandage dress as a cocktail dress make it FUN. Play it up with your accessories.


3. Don't cycle around your Herve Leger bandage dresses with your friends, family, or close acquaintances. It looks ridiculous when you all buy 2 seasonal colors and then switch them out on a rotational basis. Showing up the next weekend in your girlfriend's teal that she wore the previous weekend (and is now at the same event wearing your coral you swapped out for) just looks silly. We're onto you. We know what you've done. Your dress is not a chameleon and now might as well be on Rent the Runway.


Please don't commit these Herve Leger Bandage Dress crimes because you will be ridiculed by me. They are great dresses on certain levels - you're able to re-wear time and time again, they flatter most figures because they eventually gravitate to your personal curves or lack there of, and they are prime for packing. DON'T ABUSE THEM by making stupid mistakes!!!

If you do make one of these mistakes this weekend, I will not call you out on it, I may even compliment you on your choice of wardrobe, but I will be laughing at you on the inside and I will probably share this with the people that I'm with once you leave.

-LMP

7 comments:

  1. This is the most asinine blog I've ever seen. Lisa - read a book. Go play outside. Do some charity work.

    Just stop putting up shit like this on the interwebs. It's a form of digital cancer.

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  2. Thank you for your comment. This blog isn't meant for all readers...and can really only be appreciated by those of the particular style I target. Xo.

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  3. This post was hilarious - my sister & I have a running joke about Herve Leger dresses in Vegas. They are super flattering (I mean they're basically full body Spanx), but I agree - girls need to get creative & not just label whore it out & call that style.

    Anyway, people need to lighten up - it's a fashion blog, not Lisa's World View on All Things Important in Life. No one should take a blog post titled 'Bandage dress crimes' so seriously.

    Keep up the good work Lisa!
    xox Amanda

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  4. Thanks for the support Amanda! I knew you'd understand my "asinine" reasoning! So great to see you in Vegas...let's play soon. Either in San Diego or possibly another Vegas run in! Hopefully for longer this time...Xo!

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  5. Brilliant! Once heard someone pronounce this dress as "Harvey"...lol for days! I keep mine in the closet...not sure why - nostalgia perhaps lol. But I do think the dress has run its course (Thanks to the Kardashian clan). However, I do like your tips of adding fun leather jackets etc!

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