"Do What U Want" - Lady Gaga ft. R Kelly
I figured, what better way to learn how to pack for your next trip to the Amalfi Coast than to learn how to not pack, based off of my own personal mistakes. That's as far as my introduction will go.
How (not) to Pack for the Amalfi Coast:
1. No you didn't put on fuzzy socks in first class and walk to the bathroom in them because you had a bottle of Prosecco before take off. Do you not listen to your own advice, LisaPriceInc.? (cc: Traveling in Style & Slumber). The floor is filthy, you'll realize what you've done when you get back to your seat and end up holding up the entire plane's departure because you're searching around in your (previously) properly stowed carry-on for your return home pair of fuzzy socks because you can't wear the ones you just put on a minute ago.
2. Do not bring as many possible bags as the airline allows you. Believe it or not, U.S. Airways baggage rules are way more flexible than a Fiat. If you have one jumbo checked bag, one overstuffed carry-on, and a Louis Neverfull that's way-too-full, times that by two to include your accomplice's luggage and try stuffing all of that into a brand new cream colored Fiat 500.
3. Remember to pack dry shampoo. There may be a night or two when 5-star bathroom quarters remind you of a 7 Star Gas Station. The last thing you want to do is spend too many precious hours primping. You're going to want some dry shampoo for the journey to find a nearest blow out, trust me.
4. Don't forget your toothbrush when you repack a smaller bag for a weekend getaway to Tuscany. You've come too far already to forget the small things. And always, when in a remote part of the country that is not America, your chances of finding a convenient La Farmacia are slim. Prepare for a detour and a bristle mark-up.
5. Why in the world did you bother bringing multiple pairs of Louboutins and Choos? Did you really think the cobblestone walkways of Napoli would be your runway? Get ready to snap a Choo. Unless you want your red soles exfoliated, leave your lovely Loubs at home.
6. Nike socks are great for your Frees in Southern California, but do not buffer out the cold in Bologna. Prepare for frozen feet if you didn't bring thicker socks. Even if you're no where near the Alps in Sorrento, you absolutely must pack a pair of ski socks or three. You don't want to be stuck layering up 48-hour used socks. This is gross.
7. Two beige ponchos, really? I know that you're so excited to rock the Givenchy ponchos you have hidden in the back of your closet for romantic trips to the cabin and ice skating in Rockefeller Center, but why would you ever pack two for one trip that look exactly the same? First of all, you'll only end up needing to wear one. Second of all, no one is going to notice the added leather trim on the second in your 20th picture uploaded onto Instagram and think you totally poncho repeated.
8. Pick your PJs wisely. Lets be honest, there's no need for the sexy cute PJs when you're cuddled up on a hard mattress with your BFF. You've been out all day, the heat is cranking in the apartment, and you're ready to pass out hard to let the snoring ensue. All you need is one pair of flannels. Let's not get chic here.
9. Accidentally "forget" to bring enough perfume samples so that you have justification for wanting to bring home a giant ouncer of Italian parfum. Totally unnecessary, but so essential. Italian parfum is sweet and musky and so delicious that it's the calorie-free equivalent to those cioccolato cornettos you've been inhaling every morning for breakfast.
10. Don't forget to bring extra sleeping pills. Coach sucks whether it's on a bag or in a plane. After flying first from Rome and connecting into Coach from Phili, you're going to want an extra dosage of diphenhydramine to get you home.